How to deal with bullying

Bullying is an unfortunate part of school life that can make even your out of school care staff feel powerless. Here are some smart strategies to turn your OSCAR programme into a bully-free zone.

DON'T

Don't enact a Zero Tolerance Bullying Policy

Though this seems counter-intuitive, it just forces kids to keep secrets or tell lies. It also adds a further sense of power to the bully when they are doing something "forbidden", and a further sense of shame for the victim that can make it even harder to ask for help

Don't attempt to mediate

Mediating an issue or the relationship will not rectify the power imbalance between the bully and victim. Bullies are focused on staying dominant and victims take the path of least resistance. Mediation will just push each child further into his or her chosen defence strategy. There is no middle ground in a bullying dynamic; instead you must address each child individually

Don't discourage "tattling"

Encourage an open, expressive OSCAR programme culture where it's ok to share.

DO

Be present

The physical presence of your out of school care staff is a deterrent, but their emotional presence is even more so. Never overlook instances of cruelty or dysfunctional behaviour on your OSCAR programme. Children are very savvy about what they can and can't get away with, and they will quickly learn how to "get around" your staff. Be responsive, firm and consistent.

Voice your protection

Role model intolerance to cruelty

Hold a safe space for every child

Every child needs adults they can trust and that they feel understood by. "Bullying a bully" is a trap that is easy to fall into, however, all this does is teach them that power and domination do in fact work. Educate yourself on the factors that lead children to employ bullying behaviour. Bullying is a successful strategy in these children to get certain needs met. Think about what those needs might be and how your OSCAR programme could meet them in a positive way, i.e. through leadership opportunities or active listening.

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